sigh*

I don’t know what to say. All I know is I want to say something. I need to say something.

The last week has been bad, really bad; stress and a lot of it. It feels like an acid breaking down everything I have built over the last month. I have lost the good feelings. The desire to do the right thing, to be the best I can be, to really live, it is gone now. It is a fight, the greatest struggle. I try to take it one day at a time, but I can’t help thinking about the future. I don’t see a future, not for me. 

            I need help. I am so frustrated, so tired, so sick. I need help; anything, anybody, something to pick me up again.  I miss those good feelings so much. I get ghosts of them from other people; people who are special to me, or just the random person who happens to be nice to me. It helps a little. 

            I don’t know what to do. I am lost again. I am trying to keep going, but bad thoughts are plaguing my head. Fighting them off is so hard! I can’t do it alone. This is my SOS, my cry for help. That’s why I started this, for moments like this, when I feel like I am drowning. Hopefully, someone out there has a life ring. 

            I could do it you know… It would be easy, I know I could do it.

No bull shit. I am a mess, and I need someone.  

Can it be you please?....