i need to write

I need to write.

I have way too much built up inside me right now.  I know how lame that sounds, but there is no better way to describe it.  This always happens to me.  I love to read so much, but it is a double-edged sword.  I feel the story so strongly, so passionately.  It is like the characters are real people to me, and more than that; it is like they are my family, my best friends.  Every time, I hope and pray for a happy ending for them, and when it doesn’t seem like that happy ending is possible, I feel such crippling despair.  As much as the emotion hurts, it is like a drug for me.  I embrace the pain, the sadness; I make it my own, and it makes me feel so alive!  I need to be so careful though.  I can only take so much.  It is like a pool filling, and I am chained to the bottom as I read.  I need to stop once and awhile to let the water drain out before I drown in my pain.  It is like a drug that I can only take so much of, or it will kill me!  I feel like I am walking a tight rope and a stiff breeze is blowing.  In the breeze I hear names, Hannah, Clay, Brent, Jacob, Bree, Alice.  This helps though.  The release is exhilarating.  It is like pulling the drain plug on my pool, letting the water drain out.  I love this, and yet I am looking forward to the next hit from my drug.  Soon, the book will end, and my supply will run out.  Where do I go from there?  What will be my next fix?  Panic and excitement are filling me.  My heart races!  The end is coming....