on these pages

you know something,
This journal has become a great thing for me.
These entries are precious to me.
They are my work, my creation,
and this is my life on these pages.

this is the why, on these pages
this is the question and the answer
this is the reason, on these pages
this is the truth and the reality
this is the story, on these pages
this is the memory and the recollection
this is the time, on these pages
this is the beginning and the end
this is my life, on these pages
this is everything I have

bored again

Here I go again, another journal entry.  I wonder if I will publish this one?  I don't have much to write about, but it has been a l;onf time since I last wrote.  I guess I'll just bore you with my weekley events.  Hmm, good song, I like this one.  Once again I managed to slip back into a hole, and I only recently got out of it, well actually my head is just breaking the surface.  It was bad, of course it has been bad before, but thats the thing, its always a little different, and always hurts in a new way.  However, I think I have found the steps to avoid it happening again.
#1- Stay away from alcohol- should be a no-brainer
#2- Don't skip doses of meds- also should be a no-brainer
#3- suck it up and push through it- happy to say I pulled this one off.
Its just not worth it to give in, it just makes me feel worse in the end.  Stop drinking you fucking moron, take your meds, everyday, no matter what, and grow a pair of nuts and suck it up.  Thats what I take away from the last week, may i never forget it.  At least I survived right?  Small victory there, but I have really messed up lately, I have alot of work to do.
Gotta stay strong,
push through it,
you can do it neil,
one day at a time,
relax,
breathe,
your gonna be ok,
stop thinking so much,
your gonna be ok,
i feel better
This is what goes through my mind, yes I talk to myself; don't care if that makes me nuts, it helps.  Definatly going to publish this, some good stuff here.  Back to work